Hello, it’s Alicia Beatrice (formerly Alicia Buchanan) your Soulful Sister Searching and creator of Golden Opportunity to Develop, helping  women move from isolation to manifest their dream life and relationship.

I want to talk to you about becoming your best self. 

It is a journey you have to go on. 

You should be vulnerable and honest with your self. 

It’s a journey of love and even hardships as well. 

I wanted to share a video about your becoming.

We were inspired by the release of Michelle Obama’s memoir Becoming.

This topic has come up for me even before the release of her book became public.

My story about becoming took me being vulnerable and moving past the shame.

If you have a past and you have dealt with shame, some traumatic experiences and negativity, you must move to a point of being ready to become the best person you are.

The journey is not going to look perfect. 

It’s going to be messy but it is going to be exciting as well.

If you are willing to do the work that is necessary there are so many beautiful and amazing things that can come out of it.

It’s a remarkable experience.  

And what I know for sure is that the moments in your life, they define the reason that you are here.  

The reason that you were meant to be here.

Because everybody has a story that they have dealt with and the significance of that is that it defines the reason why you are being here. 

So in being vulnerable I wanted to reintroduce myself and share a part of my story today.

So apart of my story is that I experienced church hurt. 

That really impacted me a lot.

There are different levels of church hurt but the one that impacted me was a little more significant to the point where I was kicked out of the church that I was attending, a black megachurch in Texas where I live.

So the backstory behind that is that I was serving like most Black women do. 

We serve, we overcommit and we overextend ourselves in our life, in our education, in our family and we neglect to take care of ourselves. 

What happens is there is either breakdown or burnout and some things can happen that can lead up to this point of you experiencing some pain or some hurt.  

My pain and hurt was involving the church, which was my faith community. 

Being kicked out of that community, being isolated, and having to start all over again.

I recall days when I was afraid to leave home.

I was so afraid to leave home in those dark times.  I

had to regain my confidence in myself and regain my trust in other people to be on this path where I am today rebuilding my community. 

This happened many years ago and I am so grateful where I am right now and my progress that I had to go back and look. 

I had to remind myself that there are other women out there who are in that place where I was.  

I wanted to encourage you that there is freedom in those vulnerable moments that you are experiencing. 

The story that you are experiencing is a redefining moment for you.  

That is a redefining moment and you can either accept it and take it as an opportunity or you can stay stuck in that place.

I want to encourage you not to stay stuck in that place because there is freedom in the journey.

It’s not going to be an easy journey.

If anybody tells you that it is, they’re lying. 

It’s going to be messy but again it’s going to be exciting.

It’s going to create some beautiful opportunities for you to become your best self.

Because your story, just like my story, just like Michelle Obama’s story, Oprah’s story and so many other great Black women, your story was meant to change the life of someone else.

But the work that is necessary that you must do first, you’re going to have to do it.

The work I had to do was forgiveness work.

It took a lot and I want to caveat and say that forgiveness is not something that you do one time. 

It’s an ongoing process because it is not going to look the way that you expect it to look.  

You have to be open and you have to be willing to embrace those moments.

Again, I wanted to offer that word of encouragement. 

If you are in that place where you’re isolated, you’re in shame because of your past but you know that you have a purpose and you were meant for more, I invite you to sign up for the Black Family Business Network and you can become your best self.

It is an opportunity for you to jumpstart that process of inner healing so that you can manifest your dream life and relationship. 

Join the Black Family Business : bit.ly/blackfamilybusiness

You are not alone. 

It doesn’t matter how things have looked for you, what struggles or challenges you have faced. 

Just like I was able to come out of isolation. 

I went from being afraid to coming out of my home because of what I experienced to now I started my business and I manifested my first marriage and 2 healthy sons.

I am moving forward in life.

You don’t have to be ashamed and you are not alone in your struggles.

Here’s to becoming your best self. 

If there is something that resonated with you, let me know.

Stay blessed and encouraged,

Alicia

In the below throwback video, I discussed Red Table Talk with Jada Pinknett Smith and Leah Remini discussed their fallout and rumors of Jada being connected to Scientology. Leah Remini was vulnerable in sharing how she grew up in the Scientology religion and how they harassed her after she questioned some things that happened. She faced church hurt just as I did and has exposed her truth about this experience.  She is no longer involved in that religious community however, she had to go to therapy to process her childhood trauma.  She was taught not to deal with her pain as a child.  Jada and Leah are both examples of what it looks like to be brave and practice authentic living. Jada Pinkett Smith grew up with a grandmother who encouraged her to learn about different religions and make her own choices. In her home, Jada has many books on religion.  She is a life long learner which is why she went to the Scientology temple to learn about the religion and what it has to offer. In the aftermath of leaving the Scientology church, Leah wrote her book and shared her story.  She included Jada and Will Smith in the book, a decision that triggered negative publicity and discord in their friendship for years. After Leah shared this information with Jada about what she was going through, it changed the perspective of the situation. Jada says that you have to be kind to people because you never know what they are going through. 

Leah could have easily went on with her life doing the same thing and pretended that nothing happened. Yet she came out with her story and is on the journey to healing herself through therapy and reconciled her relationship with Jada.  You may have grown up in an environment with certain rules and habits. Today you can learn and do different things that help you become the woman you were born to be. 

You were born to do so much more. The possibilities are endless. 

Join the Black Family Business Network for more resources: bit.ly/blackfamilybusiness